Jul 21, 2014

Starting Our Adoption Journey: The FAQs

First thing's first: THANK YOU. Thank you to all of the support and well wishes we've received. The outpouring of love far exceeded anything that I may have sub-consciously expected. It all gave me furry insides.

After sharing our big news last week, we were understandably met with loads of questions from just about everyone we spoke with face-to-face. So, I thought I'd do my best to gather some of these here for any of you who may be interested.


A: No. And I apologize for duping any of y'all with my intentionally tricky Facebook post seen below.

That's a heart, yo.

Q: Are you adopting a kid, or like, a fresh baby?

A: We're gettin' a fresh one! Also known as a newborn. We're not opposed to adopting an older child in the future, but we want to learn how to parent from the very beginning first before we dive into building a relationship and parenting a child who is already established as a human.

Q: So, like, what country are you adopting from?

A: 'Murica! Adoption already requires a crap-ton of money and red tape. International adoption is all that plusanotherguy. And by "plus another guy", I mean more money and red tape and time and stress and how about travel. Also, international adoption means bringing home an older baby. Once again, not against it, but we want our fresh baybeh.

Q: Do you have a preference of what kind of baby you want?

A: Nope! We're open to any gender and any race!

Q: So, you just got accepted; what's next?

A: We will spend the next couple weeks working on our profile book. This is a book full of photos and text that we put together that is all about us. Copies of this will be sent off to expectant mothers to try and sell ourselves as potential parents for their baby.

This photo is irrelevant.

Q: Wait -- so the birthmother chooses you?

A: Yep! She'll be presented with a number of profile books, so we will work hard to make ours really great.

Q: So, will it be a closed adoption? Even though she's the one that picks you?

A: Not likely. It's most common these days to have an open adoption on some kind of level. This can range from just a letter or a photo once a year to annual visits, or even so open that the birthmother is a regular part of our baby's life. We will likely be somewhere in the middle where we have contact with the birthmother and maybe at most have an annual visit.

Q: So wait, is this something that could, like, happen tomorrow? Like, you get a call and go get your baby?

A: It could! But not at first. We still have to complete our home study which can take a few months. Because of this, our book will only be submitted to women who are earlier on in their pregnancy so that if we happen to get chosen, we'll still have time to complete our home study before the baby is born. After our home study is complete and we begin to be submitted to birthmothers in all stages of pregnancy, we could be matched with a woman who is in labor RIGHT THIS SECOND. In this case, we'd up and leave to go get our baybeh!

Q: Home study. Is that where they, like, come to your house?

A: Yeah, we'll be working with a social worker who will visit and check out our pad, help us through background checks and other paperwork, and interview us both together and separately.

Photo & print by Congo Studio on Etsy -- (feel free to buy me this)

Q: So, what's the time frame? Don't they always say that adoption takes years and years?

A: It can, but in a lot of cases it doesn't. The company we are working with signs you on for a two year contract and currently boasts a 92% success rate within the 2 years. The likeliness of it happening sooner than later depends on any preferences adoptive parents may have. Anyone who is only interested in adopting a Caucasian girl will typically wait longer than anyone with fewer preferences. Being that we have no preferences, this plays in our favor!

Q: Wow! That's really exciting!

A: I know!

If any of ya have any questions that I didn't cover here, please feel free to ask! I'm an open book and even though I'm still learning, I am happy to help educate as we go along.

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