Aug 10, 2015

Say 'What' Again

I thought that after we finished our home study and had nothing productive left to do with regard to the adoption that I'd struggle with our wait to be matched with a potential birthmother. Truly, I think the worst part of trying to get pregnant was all of the waiting. It really was, simply put, two weeks of waiting to ovulate followed by two weeks of waiting to see if I was pregnant, on repeat for years on end. This time, however, the waiting was easy.

Jamie and I decided to pursue adoption in December of 2013, however, due to our being in the middle of buying new construction, we didn't sign on with our adoption facilitator until July of 2014. Then, we didn't even complete our profile book until late in the year, and didn't receive our home study approval until January of this year.

Now everything has been complete for a good six-ish months and the time has surprisingly flown by quite quickly. I really expected to live day by day agonizing over when we were going to get 'the call', but that hasn't been the case. Jamie and I have been using this waiting period to continue enjoying life as kidless folks. I've said this a number of times, but I think the difference here is that once we gave up fertility treatments and decided on adoption, our 'ifs' turned into 'whens'. There were so many unknowns for us while trying to get pregnant that we weren't ever really sure that it was going to happen. With adoption, we know that it will happen at some point. Maybe it would take more time and money and there's still a possibility of a bumpy road, but it can be made to happen. We no longer had to worry.

So the waiting wasn't a problem for us anymore. What started to bother me, though, was that we're often asked things like, "So what's going on with that?" or "Any news?". It's become exhausting for me to answer these questions and I've had an increasingly more difficult time trying to hide my annoyance with them. Those asking aren't prying; they're just people that we've shared our story with who are interested and curious, but I even began feeling annoyed toward our closest friends who really, deeply care and were just asking for an update.

Me, on the inside. Apologies if my inner Sam Jackson surfaced at all.

I feel badly for how annoyed I've become. It's just gotten really difficult to keep giving the same answer: no. With this wait, there's nothing to do and no news to be had. The only news that can come is the big news: the news that we've been matched with a potential birthmother. So, being asked about it was just a reminder to me that we still hadn't been picked. In summation, the wait wasn't an issue, but being regularly reminded of it was.

If you've read carefully thus far, you may have noticed an inconsistency in my writing. Have you found it? It happened pretty quickly, the way I switched from writing in present tense to past tense, much like how quickly the answer to that question changed.

"Any news?"

Yes.

We've been matched and she's due in January!



(Story developing.)

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