Long Winded Fitness Situation

"Don't buy into the bullshit. F*ck the body hating, pop culture assholes. You're beautiful!!!"

I think the above photo is really important. It's important to love yourself and not fall into a need to have a "perfect" body. It's also important to love yourself and not fall into the habit of neglecting your body. This was where my first somewhat failure was.

When I was in high school, I was very much into making sure I was different than the assholes in school. I didn't care what others expected of me and I didn't care if they liked me or not. I didn't care to look like them, either. I may have even gone so far as to scribble on a white shirt, in sharpie, "Be who you are, not what they want you to be." If it were 1985, I would have been Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club, minus the dandruff and headband makeover.

Homecoming 2000/Prom 2001 - (Don't you love Hannah's Saloon Girl prom getup?)

With this Screw-Off, I'm Awesome attitude came an awesome acceptance of my body. The year following graduation, I packed on the Freshman 15 without even going off to college but I didn't care. Life was really good that year. I was having a great time and was constantly surrounded by like-minded friends. I was at my biggest, a size 14, when I moved to California ten years ago in August of 2002. With the stresses of moving across the country and being mostly on my own, I began to lose weight accidentally.

June 2005

By the time I took this photo, I was down to 132 pounds and was about a size 6 or 8, which was the thinnest I've ever been. Still, during that time, I hadn't done anything to lose the weight on purpose. I had been with Jamie for about two and a half years, and our diet consisted largely of fast food. I was an anomaly.

When Jamie graduated from college and we moved into our apartment in 2006, I was still the same size, but not for long. With our own place comes our own kitchen. With our own kitchen comes baking! I baked. I love to bake. I baked a lot and we still ate fast food. By 2009, I was back up to about 164 pounds and wearing a size 12. I was about the size that I was when I moved to California in 2002, except this time, I wasn't proud of it. I didn't feel good about myself. I felt sluggish.

On New Year's Day of 2010, I ate my last deliciously high in caloric content breakfast at The Original Pancake House with Jamie and our friends Jon and Amanda (who we miss since they moved away!). On January 2nd, I began my journey in fitness and health. I tracked my calories, and went 7 weeks without a day off from the gym. I lost 20 pounds in three months and felt great.

I traveled to Ohio over Easter that year. When I returned, I never returned to the gym. I tried, but I had lost that motivation. I, however, had stuck pretty well to my more healthy eating habits and managed to only put on 5 pounds before heading to Cabo for Pat and Sara's wedding in February of 2011. Unfortunately, even with getting sick in Cabo, I still ate and drank enough to put on another 5 pounds (likely mostly bloating from all the free booze.)

When we returned from Cabo is when we found out that my dad was in his final weeks. I flew to Ohio to be with him and my family. While there, my mom and I nourished ourselves with sugar wafer cookies and lattes. I put on 10 more pounds and was back to where I started twice before.

So here I am now, making progress that feels really good. I'm feeling good about myself again and it has nothing to do with getting skinnier, or getting f*ck-you-fatter. Just because I'm changing my body, doesn't mean I hate it. It means I love it enough to want to take care of it and keep it healthy and functional. I can't predict the future, though, so chances are I may end up back at the beginning again, especially with pregnancy hopefully being in my future. But I know what to do to take care of myself and I know what it takes to make me feel good in my body, and that's what I'm sticking to and that's what's working.

So here. Numbers.


June 7, 2012

• Weight - 163 (+20)
• Bust - 40"
• Waist - 34" (+4)
• Belly - 40.5" 
• Hips/Butt - 43.5" (+3.25)
• Thigh - 25.5" (+2)
• Knee - 16.5"
• Calf - 14.25"
• Arm - 13" (+1.75)

August 2, 2012

• Weight - 156 (-2, -7)
• Bust - 38" (-0.5, -2)
• Waist - 32" (0, -2)
• Belly - 40" (0, -0.5) 
• Hips/Butt - 41.75" (-0.25, -1.75)
• Thigh - 24" (-0.25, -1.5)
• Knee - 15.25" (-0.25, -1.25)
• Calf - 13.75" (-0.25, -0.5)
• Arm - 12.5" (0, -0.5)

August 9, 2012

• Weight - 152.5 (-3.5, -10.5)
• Bust - 37.75" (-0.25, -2.25)
• Waist - 31.25" (-0.75, -2.75)
• Belly - 39.25" (-0.75, -1.25) 
• Hips/Butt - 41.5" (-0.25, -2)
• Thigh - 24" (-0.25, -1.5)
• Knee - 15.25" (-0.25, -1.25)
• Calf - 13.75" (-0.25, -0.5)
• Arm - 12.25" (-0.25, -0.75)

I did really well this week! I could tell even before I took any numbers. This was the first week that I was actually feeling thinner and lighter. Look! I surpassed 10 pounds lost and am now at a total loss of 12.25 inches! Let me tell you, it was so nice to finally see a change in my belly and waist measurement... and at three-quarters of a inch each, a pretty significant change.

Jeah!