Mar 4, 2013

Darrell Day

Best Haircut Ever
(Buzzed on the side with a perm? Hellzyesss.)

Saturday marked two years since my dad died. I woke up feeling okay about it. I didn't feel the consuming sadness that I've had in the past on important days related to him and that made me nervous. In the hour that I was awake before Spin class, I think I poo'd three times due to my nervous stomach. Then about halfway through Spin class, I felt like I was going to lose it. "It" being the contents of my stomach, which so far had only been two rice cakes and some water.

I felt unsettled for the first few hours of my day. It was like I was anticipating a break down and it could come at any minute. I took a long, hot shower to relax and allow myself some undistracted brain-space to really consider how I felt about the day.

My thoughts bounced between memories of times spent together and of how he was as a person. While I felt emotive in response, enough to cause a sniffle and watery eyes, I didn't really cry. On Saturday, I realized that the time had finally healed a large part of the wound that his cancer and his death had left me. The majority of my sadness had turned to just plain missing him, and that is a much more manageable emotion.

Father Daughter Dance Jitterbug
Pa and I used to jitterbug.

Jamie and I had lunch, but then he had plans with his brothers that evening leaving me with some free time. I met Clare for a couple drinks at a local spot where we tossed back a shot of peach schnapps in honor of my pop. It's kind of a family thing to toast with peach schnapps; We did it to toast my grandfather, and now we do it to toast my dad. When he died, one of the first things we thought was "Oh crap, we're out of Peach!" and we called someone up to bring us some so that we could all do a shot. What a visual, huh? A man dies, and his family does shots... and this was all before they took his body away, but he wouldn't have had it any other way.

PBR and Peach Schnapps
Peach and PBR.

My dad also drank PBR. It was his go-to brew for decades. It's what we drink when we're thinking of him, so I grabbed a 12 pack and headed over to Jarrod and Kaitlyn's to eat, drink, and play cards. I couldn't be more grateful for my friends here. They had never met my dad, yet they help me celebrate him as if they knew and loved him too, and that means the world to me.

Happy Darrell Day!


  1. This is a very lovely way to remember your father. I love the pbr and the shots. We would totally do the same thing :-)

  2. We poured scotch in with my Grandmother's ashes when we interred her 3 years ago. And then we went into the church fellowship hall, and 200 people put back a case of scotch. So your Peach Schnapps seems more than fitting to me, it's just what you do when you want to honor someone.

    I am glad that time is starting to allow you to heal the pain of loss. It is good to miss someone, but better to feel sadness over pain. Hang in there, girl.